RD.COM Humor jokes
Editores del Reader's DigestUpdated February 10, 2023
When you need a quick laugh.
Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the joke halfway through? While forgetting can be fun in itself, no one wants to suffer the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if it's one of the jokes.The funniest jokes ever. Sometimes you need a quick laugh on demand and what better way than with one of these short jokes? You can take them out of your back pocket when you need something fun.more fun liner, some"what is your name?" jokes, and even something to make the little ones laugh with itshort jokes for kids.
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What is the best of Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a great advantage.
I have invented a new word!
Have you heard of the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?
He will do anything to avoid them.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because each piece has an occupation. here are somedark jokesto know if you have a morbid sense of humor.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Go out!" call the bartender "We don't cater to your type."
Yesterday I saw a guy scatter all his Scrabble cards on the street. I asked him: "What do they say on the street?"
One time my dog ate all the scrabble tiles. For days he left little messages at home. Don't miss these funegg word gamesThis will blow your mind.
Okay, so now you're saying, "Who's the control freak?"
Have you heard of the new restaurant called Karma?
There is no menu - you get what you deserve.
A woman in labor suddenly exclaimed: "I shouldn't! I shouldn't! I couldn't! No! Tip!"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "It's just contractions."
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and...coke."
"Why the long pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not sure, I was born with them."
Did you hear about the actor who fell to the ground?
I was going through a phase.
Have you heard of the claustrophobic astronaut?
I just needed a little space.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they do it all.
Why did the chicken go to the session?
Go to the other side. look at these others"Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokesfor more laughs
Where are the average things made?
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw it into the mainstream.
What lies at the bottom of the sea and twists?
A bundle of nerves.
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What's a curious pepper got to do?
Get jalapeno business!
How does Moses prepare the tea?
he is fermenting
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
You always take things literally.
How do you keep a bagel from escaping?
Place the salmon on top.
A man tells his doctor: "Doctor, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies: "I'm sorry, I don't understand..."
What kind of exercise do sloths get?
Why don't Calculus students have house parties?
Because you should never drink and deduce.
What do you call a parade of rabbits that jumps backwards?
A receding rabbit line.
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What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best thyme, the worst thyme.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the ends of its paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a sentence. Don't forget to tag these others"What's the difference between" jokesThis will blow your mind.
Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
They are two brutes.
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What did the tin man say when he was hit by a steamroller?
"Damn! Foil again!"
What did the bald man exclaim when they gave him a comb?
Thank you, I will never part with him!
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
make me one with everything
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Something stinks between you and me.
What do you call fake noodles?
How do you make a scarf dance?
Put a little boogie on it.
What did 0 to 8 tell you?
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse
What did one hat say to the other?
Wait here. I'm going head on. If you loved this, you'll enjoy it.dog word games.
What do you call a magical dog?
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little weird.
What is orange and does it sound like a carrot?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
What do you call a woman with only one leg?
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
Your car is gone.
What did the Ox say when his son left for college?
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?
The space bar.
Why did the yogurt go to the art show?
Because it was cultured.
What do you call an apology written with dots and dashes?
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it got cold.
One time my dog ate all the scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the house.
I told my wife that she raises her eyebrows a lot.
She looked at me surprised.
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Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
Each took six months.
What is the password for Forest Gump?
How do poets greet?
Hey, don't we have a metaphor? If you're a word geek, here you go.20 Grammar Jokes That Are Hilarious.
Where does Batman go to the bathroom?
Why did Oreo go to the dentist?
Because it lost the padding.
What do you get with a spoiled cow?
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings can't jump.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. Next time, subtract 10 from 90.
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Why did the M&Ms go to school?
He wanted to be a Smartie.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycomb.
How does a rabbi make his coffee?
I gave my daughter a refrigerator for her birthday.
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I served root beer in a square glass.
Now I only drink beer.
Why aren't koalas real bears?
You don't know the Koalafications.
Rest in peace to boil water.
You will be fog
What do you call a rooster looking at a bunch of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
Why did the nurse need a red pencil at work?
In case you need to draw blood.
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How do you throw a party in space?
Numbers 19 and 20 started an argument.
Why was the stadium so hot after the game?
All the fans are gone.
What do you call a gumball train?
Why did the math textbook visit the adviser?
He needed help solving his problems.
Why can't male ants sink?
You are excited.
Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Anyway, I'm still working on it.
Is talking easy?
Have you already talked to a lawyer?
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Why is the gym closed?
It just didn't work!
Two artists had an art contest.
It ended in a tie!
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
I'm afraid of speed bumps.
But little by little I'm getting over it.
Where can you find a cow without legs?
Right where you left it.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
stop looking! change!
What sandals do frogs wear?
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because seven ate nine.
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
What starts with an E, ends with an E, and only has one letter?
Why doesn't the sun rise at the university?
Because it's a million degrees!
How are cows counted?
With cow cooler.
Why are the skeletons so calm?
Because nothing pisses them off.
Why is England the wettest country?
Because so many kings and queens reigned there.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
All good. He woke up.
What are Shark's two favorite words?
man to water!
February can march?
No, but April can.
Where does the sheep get its hair cut?
Why are ghosts so liars?
Because they are easy to see through.
Why does Humpty Dumpty fall in love?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a big fall.
Where do the fish sleep?
In the river bed.
How are trees connected online?
You just entered!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because it was always discovered. Now that you've learned 101 new short jokes to share with your friends, check out these classics.laffy taffy jokesthat will brighten everyone's day.
Send your best jokeHereand get $25 when Reader's Digest publishes it.
Original Post: May 25, 2021